Happy Father’s Day

Let me Introduce You to My Nigerian Igbo Father

I have never really thought of writing a Father’s day post because to be honest, some days my dad really gets on my nerves.

Today I am thankful for my father and his presence all through my life. I have seen him hustle through life, from running a dry cleaning business to bringing a lot of nephews and cousins from the village to Lagos (the land flowing with milk and honey). I have seen him being actively involved in the clearing and forwarding business and getting a law degree all with the strains of having a family. Thank God for the support system that was my mother.

My dad is one that constantly fought, fought for life, fought for his sit at the table and fought for his kids too. From getting shot to knowing what it felt to be wrongfully imprisoned, to participating in politics and moving from Lagos to the east , my dad is a real hustler. He lives by the mantra We rise by lifting others, I see this in his actions as each day unfolds.

I was in a conversation with one of my closest relative and he talked of about how much of a philanthropist my dad was when he had a lot of money at his disposal. He went from setting up relatives in business to training his nephews and nieces in school. Our house provided accommodation to many relatives both close and distant. To a large extent I have enjoyed a lot of good will because I am my father’s daughter . To be honest, I wish my heart was as large as my dad’s, constantly giving and expecting nothing in return.

I had the courage to apply to the University of Ibadan in 2011, despite the fact that I didn’t have about 5 distinction in my WASSCE Exams because my dad felt his first daughter deserved a place in Nigeria’s premier university. I am forever grateful for the push. one day I will write how I moved from a below average student to an A student and that story will not be complete without my dad. He had so much confidence in his kids irrespective of their sex, daughters were seen as special in his sight because I recall how he threatened to send my bothers to become boys (learn a trade) for his friends if they decide to become hooligans and they would bid formal education goodbye.

I have never met a man so calm in the face of despair. I remember when I gained admission into the university and finances were so low, I had no fear because I knew my father would make a way. This is the story of all my siblings. We would never be able to describe how the money comes about we all knew we would go to school and be with our mates and God has been faithful.

I remember one of my siblings once attended a secondary school, and the motto of the school was build your house before you build your house (house being physical structure) while the motto didn’t make much sense to me it resonates deeply with me and my family.

The way my dad believes in his kids is alarming and holds no bars when he tells people that he was blessed with intelligent kids or that his son is a doctor and his daughter graduated with a first class degree even though this is usually very annoying to me.

My dad loved to listen to news especially with regards to the political sphere, he read a lot of books and and he enjoyed running political commentaries.

He is such an organised man, neat to the core, extremely meticulous and his room was the tidiest in the house. My dad travelled a lot and he is specialised in packing neatly and he was such a light packer unlike me and the rest of my siblings, he was always prepared my I have never seen him rush back home because he forgot stuff.

Many things to write about my father, he has a handful of savagery comments and when he scolds he moves from Igbo to English language . The book of psalms is his best book of the bible. Sometimes, he skips dinner when he is pissed and my siblings and I would gladly jump on his dinner because we couldn’t be bothered, my mum always found this behaviour of ours to be so disappointing .

My dad would never eat alone he would ensure distribution of his food to all his kids. oh how that man loved eating meat in all forms and sizes, I can not begin to talk about the variety of animals that we have consumed while growing up.

The truth is, my story with my dad may not entirely be like other stories on the internet because through and through I am a mother’s girl.

After school when I decided to rebel seeing that I have attained the big girl status I discovered that my dad could possibly kill to ensure my safety and I am grateful for this love, the tough kind of love. Many imperfections plus all the psalms that we get to read under duress during devotion but then I carry my first daughter badge like one of the privileged few.

Happy father’s day to my father and all the male figures in my life, I don’t know how it happens but I have been a benefactor of chivalry and I can’t even complain.

I would love to see your comments, how was your relationship with your father while growing up?

XOXO

Jules