The only constant thing is friendship

I have been trying to write this single post for over 9 months, maybe it took me this long because friendship is a bit emotional for me or because I wanted the post to be as authentic as possible. The truth is that friendships evolve, and while it is always constant in our lives, the dynamics might change with time.

So, I would put it out that there that the only constant thing is friends or friendship, just like change is the only constant thing in life. As one who has had a lot of experiences with friendships in my young life, talk about toxic friendships, short-lived friendships, soul mate kind of friendships or friends with benefits.

I have seen them all. I have a few lessons on friendship and while it is a beautiful thing, it might end faster than we envisage, or it might not be as nice as we expect it to be. But do we then give up on friends or friendships, I hope not.


I for one, believe that we were not created to do life alone, and friends are important to achieving our goals in life, but just like other human relationships, friendships are complex and multifaceted and require investments on both sides. It is also risky as we might also stand a chance of being hurt.

Being a person whose major trait is linking up with people who could be potential friends, I can tell you for free that when the going is good, friendships fill you up more than many romantic relationships but when things go sour, and issues become irresolvable it hurts so bad.


Sometimes friendship entails letting go for a while till you are emotionally capable of accommodating, you don’t have to burn out trying to be a friend, it is okay to take time away but please don’t ghost your friends.

Friendship and emotional capacity for certain friendships are you emotionally capable of accommodating this friendship at a certain time.

It is important to note that there are different friends for different seasons of life.

This point was motivated by my partner as we ruminated about the friends that used to matter a lot when we started dating a few years back and those who still matter now. I concluded that there are friends for different seasons of your life, wait first before you start judging me or rolling your eyes, hear me out.

I had a really close friend in my late teens. However, as we grew into our 20s when we chose to pursue different causes in life the relationship became strained and conversations were forceful, that was when I knew it was time to let go. We must understand that sometimes the friendships might not fit into certain seasons in your life and don’t beat yourself up for it. Move on and take all the experiences with you.


Losing friends and moving on from it

So, what happens when friends seem to be drifting apart. For me, I hold on to the memories we have shared and thank God that our paths crossed.

I have always been the girl that survived in cliques, never been a one-man mopol, never loved the idea maybe it’s because I suffer from social anxiety. I came from a large family and I believe that I thrive well in groups, that has been my approach to life from cradle till adulthood, at each stage of my life I always have a clique of friends that helped me survive that period and whether or not the friendship survives the tests of time and seasons I try to enjoy the good times and reminiscence on the times that we got to spend together, how we helped each other grow and all the good perks that comes with friendships.


To be honest, losing friends or friendships hurt as much as a bad break up, how do you explain to the world that you guys are no longer in a ride or die situation or the times when you want to share your joy and laughter with that one person that will understand but they are no longer in your life. It gets really painful for me in cases where we shared dreams and goals in the past and in my future they no longer exist. Not because they are dead but because you guys don’t roll like that.

On losing friends, nobody ever prepares you for it but as someone who has survived it over and over, I have tips for you.

Do not spread rumours about your friends, it doesn’t speak well of you, and it’s plain disrespectful.

Learn that you can’t be the hero in everyone’s story, you are the villain in some people’s stories, and make your peace with it.

Sometimes it is never your fault but make sure you do not separate on bad terms, learn to forgive friends, do some self-evaluation, and relish the good times while at it. Forgive yourself it seems hard but trust me, it is doable.


So guys which one works for you. Having a friend for every season or do you have some friends that are perpetually a part of your existence, let me know your thoughts in the comments section.