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Life Lessons From My Natural Hair Journey

My Hair Story

My earliest history of relaxed hair was my primary school days, my mum would take me to a salon with her and then instruct the stylists to use perm rods on my hair to get my curls popping, but my dad being the traditional man that he was complained until my mum decided to cut my hair and ensured that I started all over without relaxer.

As time went on, I was so eager to relax my hair but my mum would not let me because relaxer messed up my hair. You know what they say about the forbidden fruit, my heart constantly yearned for a relaxer because how else will I join my clique in making telephone wire with styling gel if my hair is not relaxed. So after stocking up remains of my mother’s relaxer, one day when my mum left for the store, I begged one of my neighbours to come to my rescue and she helped me relax my hair, the beating I received is a story for another day.

Look at me now going back to my roots and publishing an entire blog post about my natural hair.

My natural hair is almost three years old. In between transitioning from my relaxed hair, the small chop and plenty other chops (I cut my ends too many times because in my mind it is just hair and it will surely grow back).

You see I was not among those who feel natural hair stylists are overpriced so after washing my hair, so I often patronise and so many times I would suffer from the pains of pulling from the women that combed and plaited my hair as if I stole their husbands, stressful stuff.

The natural hair journey is not for the faint hearted and I remember the hairdressers telling me that my hair was too thick and that I should not bother because it was simply too hard to manipulate.

Thankfully, my hair is flourishing a little bit and I have learnt a lot on this journey.If there is ever a catalogue for lazy naturalistas, I should be the cover girl, but at least when people see my hair which I hardly wear out by the way and they say your hair is natural, you are trying, I just say thank you and keep it moving c’est finis.

Recently I visited my first hair dresser after a long time and while she made my hair she was in awe of my hair growth and she could not stop making comments like your hair don grow oo, your hair looks soft, while I gently urged her to make the plaiting of the hair as chunky as possible before the water dries up and the effect of the leave in conditioner diminishes.

I reflected on my hair growth process in these past three years, the lessons learnt and how they apply to real life issues. Plus I have really cool pictures of my natural hair and I felt this is a great time to share these lessons alongside my breathtaking pictures. 

On Comparison, Patience and asking for help

1) The first lesson is the fact that your hair journey is unique. Don’t compare your hair journey with that of others. It will steal your joy, so guys focus on your journey, drink water and let your hair flourish. To think that I did not used to care about my hair growth because I am not in any competition with anyone but once someone called my attention to the fact that my hair had not grown enough in over two years and I started watching out for growth, and comparing, comparison is the thief of your joy and peace.

 2) In a bid to learn more, try to learn from individuals whose hair journey is similar to yours. Ask for help, my friends know me, I am usually curious, then and research research and research I even had a word document on my Google drive where I document my findings.

3) Your hair grows even if it is by one inch and it may be unnoticeable, growth is inevitable but it might come slowly. Document your process, take pictures and enjoy the process don’t stress it. Reduce manipulation of your hair and stop obsessing about growth. It must also add that enjoy each stage as it comes, there is no rush in life whenever you wake up is your morning. You don’t need to have everything figured out at the beginning just start the vision gets clearer as you proceed. At the end it pays to be content with your hair type and the growth phases that it will go through.

4) It is could be a roller coaster ride especially when your genes are not supporting your hair growth struggle. Be patient and trusting in your journey, understand that people admire the result and not the process.

On Dedication, Persistence and Time management

5) I also learnt to invest in what you want to growth this investment could be time spent watching YouTube videos, doing DIY or money because some of these hair products are not exactly cheap.

6) Do not give up on your hair even when it starts to break. This stresses the importance of Regular trimming who the master loves he prunes, I took that from the bible.

7) Protective styling is important, when you love something you protect it from danger of manipulation and breakage.

8) Wash hair day is another struggle, but it will teach you that time management is very key. Don’t spend your entire day washing your hair, well except you are a natural hair influencer. You will learn patience too much heat is not so good for your hair, so sometimes you will wait for your hair to dry naturally.

9) Don’t join the natural hair community because of pressure peer pressure as per everyone has gone natural. Resist the urge to join the bandwagon.

10) Finally my brethren, you need others that have been in the game before you. This emphasizes the importance of a community.

Community of Naturalistas

After all said and done, you see this thing about hair, it can fall your hand. You can stick to all the steps and things might not still work out the way you want it and that is okay. Find what works for you and your hair and stick to it, this can be applied to daily life, don’t be like me that went to substitute water for a fenugreek spritz that got my hair smelling like banga soup.

Thank you for reading till this stage, feel free to share your lessons. Are you a naturalista, can you relate to these lessons I have shared.

I will be waiting for you in the comments section.

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